Friday, March 12, 2004
i am not feeling well.
i dont think it is just the head injury either, though i am sure that doesnt help.
this is a more amorphous non body not feeling good.
sometimes i feel a hole break open inside me and all sorts of things start passing through, most of them unpleasant. pain, fear, and deep deep sadness...i feel it all just pour into me, even if it has nothing to do with me, and i have no choice but to carry it around until it dissapates.
maybe its an over developed sense of empathy.
it seems like most of the people close to me are going through something painful, or confusing, or depressing, and i wish i could just take them all and tuck them safely into my belly until its all over...but obviously i cant.
i cant protect anyone from anything, i cant save anyone, i cant do anything but sit here while all of this collects in me and pray my seams dont burst.
posted by Ms_Bunnie 6:19 AM
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Thursday, March 11, 2004
ok, just a heads up to everyone who has sent me some mail recently that i havent replied to...i am working on it...i only get to send out about 5 emails a day, because i answer them all myself and i have to squeeze them in between the madness that is daily life. who says connecticut is dull? i'd give my eye teeth for nap...
oh wait, i got one last night at my photo class....whoa what a bore that was. i thought it would be ok, since it was a composition class and not a technical class, but no no no....the teacher was all over the place, talking tech but not talking design, and then he showed us slides of landscape photos....for two hours! i dont bore easliy but i had to literally force myelf to even keep my eyes open. oh it was awful. debating about not going back next week but i think my masochism overrides my threshold for dullness. we'll see....
got an interesting suggestion from a reader...rather than go the tradtional tshirts/sticker route i should link to my ebay account and sell off my actual stuff. it would probably mostly be useless stuff, probably lots of bras, size 6 shoes, dog eared books and things i can't/wont wear anymore but hey if anyone wants them they can have em, cheap. any thoughts?
posted by Ms_Bunnie 5:51 AM
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Tuesday, March 09, 2004
i am starting to wonder if i am not working out some sub concious battle with myself, they say that can be an underlying cause of people who are injury/accident prone and that sure seems to describe me.
nevermind the litany of bruises that consantly dapple my thighs and hips, most of the time i am not even sure how i got them, bumping into corners of furniture probably...but the real issue seems to be between me and my head. i have had no less than 3 minor concussions this year, possibly four, but with all those whacks to the brain who can remember...i also had migrane everyday for over a month this summer and then caught an elbow to the eye in september. oh yeah, and did i tell you the year before that i got electrocuted by lightning through my telephone and as a result lost the majority of my hair ( a good deal of which has chosen not to return). when i first met mister L 2 years ago we were in a hotel room with a poorly placed shelf above the bed, i hit my head on it 3 times in less than 15 minutes, he says thats when he first knew he really loved me.
today i woke up, turned my head too quickly, or something equally stupid, and injured the muscle at the base of my head, resulting in a massive headache and being ordered to stay in bed for 2 days (yeah right like thats going to happen).
this thing sitting above my shoulders is becoming quite a liability...
posted by Ms_Bunnie 4:01 PM
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Sunday, March 07, 2004
yay!!!! i got my first hate mail....or something akin to an attempt anyway. here it is:
FROM:[email protected]
SUBJECT: I love...
...pics of dead animals........when will we see you in them? Soon I hope
hahahahaha!!! awww...poor thing, i offended you did i? i didn't realize i was dealing with such delicate sensibilities...and besides i am already dead in at least 2 galleries, and i plan to do more soon so your wish will be answered. great screen name by the way, too bad you blocked your email...pussy.
you can always tell you have struck a chord when you start getting nasty mail, the above posted mail was sort of pathetic so i obviously have a lot more work ahead of me. once i get my first death threat i will know i have really made it....hey, a girl can dream right?
posted by Ms_Bunnie 5:45 AM
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