Saturday, May 29, 2004

most amusing moment for me this week:

bryan called me on the phone, neither of us are really phone chatters, usually when mine rings i give it dirty looks till it stops, but his computer suffered some serious malfunctions and he has no internet access at the moment...so, phone it is.

he is actually one of the few people i can sit down for a 2 hour chat with and not get irritated or bored...my favorite part yesterday was convincing bryan "i hate stinky hippie shit" lydon to try yoga poses on the telephone. he had been telling me how he has been going to the gym, this in itself is an utter miracle, previously what passed for exercise in bryanland was the serious workout his thumbs got playing videogames punctuated by laps to the kitchen for potato chips and beer...(for those of you who don't know, the portrait in my misc. gallery where i am dressed as a man is me being him...it should give you a pretty good idea)

so he starts semi slagging off my yoga, saying that it cant be *that* hard, so i tell him to try half moon pose, the one that always gives me trouble. i explain how to do it, stand on your right foot and your right hand, with your left arm straight up in the air and your left leg out in a straight line with your body...he says yeah ok no problem, and puts the phone down. all i hear in the distance is thud thud, "owwww!" and then a little whine, "that hurts..." oh too funny, my only regret is not being there to see it in person.

*mental note: must get bryan to do more yoga next time i see him...
posted by Ms_Bunnie 5:57 AM
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Wednesday, May 26, 2004

i was sitting down to breakfast yesterday contemplating the next wave in the great poison ivy battle when i see stinky wander by on his way to the litterbox. i watch him get in, go to the corner, take his two front paws and start digging. he just kicked all the litter out behind him and suddenly it hit me...i wonder if that would work for me too?

so far i have spent the last few days hunched over with a rake, hacking away at a small patch at a time, only clearing a space about 10 feet by 10 feet a day, a mere fraction of the total area to be covered. after only an hour or so my back hurts, my rake is tangled, and i am irritable and itchy from standing in the weeds, thinking, "surely there must be a better way...," and so there is, i just didn't expect to find it while watching my cat take a poop.

i went outside, got on my ivy armor, (knee socks, long pants, long sleeve shirt, latex gloves under my rubber gardening gloves, hat, sunglasses, and head scarf wrapped around any remaining exposed skin) and got down on my hands and knees and started to dig. i reached at whatever was in front of my with both hands, ripping plants out at a rapid pace and flinging them out behind me without looking. only forward, ever forward...after awhile i paused and looked behind me to see a huge pile of weeds, astonished i looked around me to see i had removed 3 times more in one hour than i had in three days. huh. fantastic.

i would like to thank stinky for inspiring what i have officially dubbed the Litterbox Technique. the best part is that even though i am in closer proximity to the poison ivy i have far more control with my hands and so have not come up with a single new rash. yay. i would still rather get a goat to do it all but for some reason the men of the house are still stonewalling me.

and now for a little more online activism in honor of my organic approach to weed control...the USDA is trying to rollback standards on organic foods, allowing pesticides, antibiotics, and the feeding of ground up fishmeal to our beef cows, thereby completely negating the definition of "organic". i know most people never give the idea of where their food comes from a thought but do me a favor and sign this just in case...

https://secure2.convio.net/cu/site/Advocacy?id=172&page;=UserAction&s;_src=webads&s;_subsrc=redjfish&JServSessionIdr012;=nixntzzpd1.app7a

thanks!
posted by Ms_Bunnie 10:13 AM
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Tuesday, May 25, 2004

hey everyone, time for a little online activism...

this is a petition to prevent the appointement of judge holmes to the federal judiciary. this man has said, "the role of the wife is to be subordinant to the husband." and has compared people with a pro choice attitude with nazis. i dont know about you but this isnt the kind of man i want making my laws, so click this link and sign the letter. it only takes five seconds...

http://prochoiceaction.org/campaign/holmes_sen_052004/forward
posted by Ms_Bunnie 6:22 AM
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Monday, May 24, 2004

the great poison ivy battle rages on...and so far it is a draw. i have cleared a minor amount of space and the plants have retaliated by giving me the itchies my arms are covered...but it isnt too terrible and on the plus side i get to indulge in one of my favorite corporeal pleasures...picking scabs.

go on admit it, who doesnt like a little scab picking?

the thing about this poison ivy problem is that i did a little research and i found an easy solution to the whole issue which is to get a goat. or more realistically because they are social and get lonely alone, 2 goats, nigerian dwarf goats to be specific. check out these little cuties:

http://www.goatweb.com/discover/miniature/nigerian/index.shtml

they are tiny, easy to look after, and they consider poison ivy to be a delicacy...we have plenty of space and i am home all to keep an eye on them all day but for some reason the men of the house are dead set against the idea (with no rational argument to back them up mind you).

everytime i bring it up mister L just says, "you are mad, you are a loon, you are not getting a goat, thats crazy."

like i am the first person in the universe to have a pet goat...its not like i am asking to move in an elephant or anything...
posted by Ms_Bunnie 7:28 AM
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